It will change your life

I spent a week at Camp Barnabas... and I was reminded what the Kingdom of God should look like. People serving others in a way that can only be defined as love. I fully joined in on what was clearly a superior way of living life. And the result was a joy that I am convinced few experience in the fake world. Why does it always shock me that when I make the choice to seek others good before my own that I receive from God what he has promised? Why don't I trust that the God who has asked me to expend myself can refuel me when I obey?

What was particularly telling was the fact that I have a tendency to budget my energy during times of service so that I can accomplish a week of a Christ-like servant attitude. You know - putting others first, encouraging them, not whining, speaking the truth in love, putting action before affection, humility, and a general love for all with whom I come into contact. I was well aware of how many more days I had to have the mind of Christ before I could let down and be myself again. And then God, as he has often done before, reminded me that his Kingdom on Earth doesn't just exist at Barnabas and that I was being asked to live this way... the rest of my life. I was being asked to never go back to selfishness, whining, spotlight hounding... and all of the other crap that fills the dark, distracted side of me.

The whole problem with that way of life is that I can't budget for it. It exceeds my resources. If I am going to live that life, I have to admit need. Believe me, it is not that I fear selflessness or any of the character qualities that come with living the life of Christ. My fear is needing God to accomplish it. Seven days? Yeah, I can do that. The rest of my life? I'm going to need some help. God help me... I'm going to give this a shot. My attempts to find joy for myself, by myself don't compare to the joy of doing God's work through God's empowerment.